Ann-Marlene Henning: The fourth episode is about erectile dysfunction.
Even for tips on make-up for the ladies and advice on correct body care, the poet was not too bad.
Beauty determines the position in love play
The most amusing are Ovid’s recommendations for the various positions in love play. Only women with pretty faces are allowed to lie on their backs and show the man their front. But don’t worry – even women less favored by nature can have fun in bed: "If your belly is full of wrinkles, what the heck, turn around and show your back while riding". After all, according to Ovid, in bed, yes "a thousand ways to Rome". Well then, have fun on the trip!
The most amusing tips from Ovid at a glance
1. Pretty women are allowed to lie on their backs
"Every woman goes their own way according to their own body. Not every position suits the body, no matter how it looks. If she has a beautiful face, should she lie on her back, the back is perfect and should be beautiful – please – see it too."
2. Small women should choose the equestrian position
"If you are rather small then ride with him through the night because that is your advantage, the heavy ones can’t! If you have a belly full of wrinkles, what should it do, turn around and show him your back while riding. A thousand ways to Rome!"
3. The sex position for lazy women
"And if you are tired: turn to the right, support yourself lightly, that is nice and still conserves your strength."
4. Talking dirty in bed is a must
"Sweet whispers do not stop and tender sounds; horny talk also does not stop in the midst of lust."
5. The orgasm must be faked if necessary
"You, too, who has denied the sense of love by nature, give out sweet feelings with a deceptive sound. […] Just be careful not to let the pretend notice; make the pleasure believable through the movement, the The sound and breath of the mouth prove that it tickles you."
6. Find out what the partner likes
"And have you found places where the woman likes to be touched: don’t be ashamed, just let your fingers dance there, then you will see: your eyes tremble and shine, the sun dances on the water!"
7. Don’t drink too much alcohol
"Ugly, a woman who lies down, drunk with much wine; cohabitation of any kind is worth enduring."
8. It is better to make love in the dark
"Do not let the light into the room from the whole window; it is better to keep a lot of your body hidden."
9. Make-up must look natural – and must be applied secretly
"Therein lies the greatest art of avoiding the appearance of art. Doesn’t the tenderly languishing youth leave disappointed, does he see the make-up dripping off his face in the morning? […] If you are alone, improve and apply make-up and smoothen, but our looks are spared with the laborious construction."
10. Personal hygiene and hair removal are a must
"Just a word in the ear of the inexperienced beauty, only to smell sweet in the armpits – that’s what I advise – and to remove what is superfluous in hair growth."
(Source: Ovid, "Love art" Translations by Konrad Beikircher, Alexander von Gleichen-Rußwurm and Heinrich Lindemann)
The sexologist Ann-Marlene Henning has been at least since the beginning of the documentary series "Make Love – Love can be learned" known to a wide audience. The program is currently every Sunday at 10:15 p.m. on MDR about education, partnership and the way to better sex.
The couples therapist wants to reach young people in particular with her knowledge of anatomy and sexual identity. That is why she published the book of the same name with Tina-Olszewski in 2012 "Make love. An educational book" out. Especially the revealing photos of "real sex" are unusual and attracted attention. But even adults who sniff Henning’s publications do not know a lot. We spoke to the neuropsychologist about the effects of porn, the female orgasm and factors for good sex.
Articles on the online blog, a book and a TV series: What exactly was and is your motivation for so much education?
Ann-Marlene Henning: Every day I see people of all ages in my practice who don’t know elementary things and are therefore under great pressure. Many think that things can or must be done. To be born wrong or to have to give up because they can’t come. I kept thinking: With a little tutoring you could get everything on the right track.
In your opinion, what would have to happen for every woman and man to know that there is a clitoral complex, a female prostate and all that? And what else do men have to learn?
Ann-Marlene Henning: There has to be a rethink. Away from shame and guilt and blocking good websites during the day (The educational homepage too "Make love" the MDR has blocked the protection of minors from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m., editor’s note), towards "let’s finally talk to the kids". Then they can decide for themselves what to watch and what not to watch. What they shouldn’t see, what causes damage, they can often see freely. That is horrible. Why is there no subject "Communication, relationship and sexuality" at school that is taught once a week for a year or more? There must also be a political rethink.
The whole problem is carried into adulthood. Is there a difference in your practice between what women tend not to know and what many men do not know, or are the differences similar?
Ann-Marlene Henning: You could say that both sexes don’t know certain things. But there is a big difference: men know better about their gender, they have made friends with it earlier and more extensively than women. The female gender has really been completely ignored for over 200 years. This has serious consequences.
They criticize the fact that many young people seek information from porn. Would everything be better without porn?
Ann-Marlene Henning: Porn is the only thing where you can even see anything. I would like to change something about that and I’m currently doing it. That is why we also show in our episodes what normal sexuality can look like. It’s good when you can even see what bodies are doing and what they look like. In porn, however, the picture is falsified. Then there is another problem: pornography is a real danger because it changes the brain. There are various scientific studies on this. This is dangerous for young people. You are in the process of learning about sexuality and you are much more responsive to the dopamine and the body’s own drugs that are fed by porn. You get addictive behavior much faster. The stimulus threshold changes. So it happens, for example, that very young men suddenly have problems with erections. They also come to my practice. You train things on the computer that do not go well with partner sexuality. And that’s why my opinion is: porn has negative effects.
Can you mention three things from your practice that most adults don’t know?
Ann-Marlene Henning: A common prejudice is: "Woman comes during intercourse – several times and easily". And if she can’t, something is wrong with her. Or: If mine can’t do that, then something is wrong with me – I can’t get it for her. People don’t know that women can take care of themselves, get to know their bodies, increase their lust and bring themselves to orgasm. Then you can learn to be able to come vaginally at some point through better perception.
The second prejudice is that the penis always has to stand up all the time anyway. If he suddenly doesn’t stand like that anymore – in his mid-40s the not quite as stable erections start – hardly a man knows that this is biologically conditioned and normal. And that is why you now have to learn to get excited. Most respond with: "Oh, my wife bores me".
Third, I could do https://topadultreview.com/russian-brides/ this "I don’t feel like having sex" call. There’s an idea in my head that lust is universal and innate. That’s not true. It is innate that you somehow manage to reproduce. But how you feel about it, what pleasure you get from it, that is learned. There are three big misconceptions: Everything has to work by itself and the woman comes, you automatically feel like it and the penis works as you want.
In the show "Make love" educate about the clitoris and the female prostate. What is crucial for a female orgasm?
Ann-Marlene Henning: The most important thing is the pelvic floor. Know where it is and how to use it properly. Above all, it can also be used to specifically relax. Lots of women lie there and strain it seriously. They don’t know what that does and then, for example, have pain during sexual intercourse. And think "i was born too tight" or "i have some kind of inflammation" – It is mostly the pelvic floor that you tense too much, especially nowadays with all this pressure that you have. Or you tense your jaw and often your pelvic floor without noticing or knowing it. The pelvic floor and jaw work together very often. They are part of our escape and stress system.
We’ve been talking about sex for a while now and since the 60s at the latest we’ve all been totally relaxed about the topic. How is it then that so many are so uptight in their own relationships when it comes to sex?
Ann-Marlene Henning: This so-called sexual revolution has brought something. It made it possible for me to even do what I do today. But that this has reached every single one is a fallacy. Alice Schwarzer, for example, and all of her work was incredibly important to women. But every single woman was not addressed for a long time. What I simply state is: As soon as it comes to your own sex and thus your own inability, it’s like in all other areas of life: I don’t admit that and I don’t talk about it either.
Are Germans particularly inhibited in dealing with their sexuality?
Ann-Marlene Henning: The church has had a great influence over the past 200 years, but there are differences. For example in other cultures. In Cuba or Uganda there are already other ways of dealing with sexuality. And there are studies that show that when there is something wrong with the penis, Germans go to the doctor much less often than Americans or other Europeans. In other European countries it is over 40 percent who go to the doctor, in America even 60 percent, in Germany it is only around 20 percent. But something is happening.
How should one imagine sex therapy for you? Like in the first episode "Make love"?
Ann-Marlene Henning: Something like that. Except that we are having a much more detailed diagnosis. Childhood is also queried in order to find out: What was the sexual development like. And very interesting things come out of it. We want to try to understand the whole sexual system of our clients. This sexocorporeal approach deals with behavior. You learn these things. It’s all sexual learning, and that’s what I need to know from every single client: How did their sexual learning go? This is a holistic concept with a focus on physical learning. And then there are exercises and homework. People practice at home themselves. In practice, you keep your clothes on and I don’t touch anyone.
What can viewers expect in the next episodes "Make Love?"
Ann-Marlene Henning: The fourth episode is about erectile dysfunction. There comes a man around 50 who can no longer keep his erection the way he wants.